Party At Gaara's
by La-Garce-Fille
Summary: Kankuro wants to have a party and has enlisted the help of Temari. The problem? A certain redheaded little brother of theirs. Question is, can they overcome said problem and party?


I heart the Sand Siblings, but one of my best friends hearts them more than I ever could.

So, **Michelle**, this fic is dedicated to you cuz I luff you bunches! I hope it makes you laugh /super/ hard

Be warned of the inside jokes. There's lots of them.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, more specifically, the Sand Siblings: Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari. However, I wish I did…

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**Party At Gaara's**

_/Sand Sibling's House, Kitchen/_

"Psstt! Temari!"

Temari turned around and gave a strange look to her little brother. "What, Kankuro?"

"Psstt! Come here," he whispered, holding one of his hands over the side of his mouth.

"Kankuro, I'm standing, like, four feet away from you," the fan-wielder stated, turning back around to pour the juice into her glass.

"I know," Kankuro continued to whisper. "But I need you to come closer so that Gaara doesn't hear."

"Gaara's at his office. Like he is **every day **at 6 o'clock in the morning. What is wrong with you?"

"A lot of things. Just come closer so that I can talk to you _privately_!" An annoyed whisper.

Temari groaned and sat down across for the puppet-user, setting the glass of juice on the table. "Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

Kankuro looked around the kitchen like he expected someone to be listening. "It's not safe here," he whispered again, standing up and dragging his poor sister down the hallway and into the bathroom. Temari's juice was left alone and emotionally scarred, because of the fact that no one wanted him, on the table.

_/In the Bathroom/_

Temari looked around. "Kankuro! What the hell are you doing?"

Kankuro poked his head out of the door and looked up and down the hallway. Once satisfied that no one was there, he closed the door and sat on the toilet. "It's Friday, Temari, and I want to have a party."

"I hope you mean at someone else's house, cuz Gaara isn't going to let you have one here," Temari pointed out, leaning against the sink.

"I know. So, that's why I'm telling you."

"You've lost me."

"I'm telling you so that you can _distract_ Gaara while I have my party."

"Are you brainless or just friggin crazy? How the hell am I suppose to distract Gaara! And why the hell should I to cover for _your_dumb ass! What the hell do **I** get out of it? This is never going to work!" Temari was about to leave until Kankuro attempted to cling to Temari's leg, causing her to stumble and slip on the rug of the bathroom.

Kankuro gasped. "Oh, dearest big sister! Are you okay? Must I inform the medics of your horrible fall?"

"Kankuro. Shut-up," Temari grumbled as she pulled herself up with the towel bar thingy that hangs on the wall.

Short silence.

"So…" Kankuro began. "You gonna help me or what?"

Temari sighed in defeat, answering, "What do I have to do?"

Kankuro hugged his big sister and dragged her away to his room for more private discussing.

_/Kankuro's Room/_

"Why are you dragging me to different places, baka? Why can't we stay in _one_ place to talk about things!" Temari complained, falling back on Kankuro's bed while he took a seat on a chair across from her.

"Cuz. We have to keep moving so no one will think to spy. If one word about this party gets to Gaara, we're both dead."

"Whatever." She looked around the room and spotted two new additions that she hadn't noticed before. "Kankuro. Why do you have a pink, frilly toaster?" she asked, pointing at the weird appliance.

"What? Oh, that's Kakashi-san's sexy toaster," he answered, shaking his head sagely.

"And why do **you** have **Kakashi's** sexy toaster?"

"Cuz I stole it from him. But, just between you and me, I saved her from an abusive relationship with that perverted, old man. He always hit her when she didn't give him the right toast. Very tragic." He patted the toaster for…comfort, I guess. The toaster popped up some toast as a response.

"Um…right then. Then won't Kakashi-san be missing his toaster?"

"No. He got a new one. It's a pre-op, hard-core toaster."

Temari's jaw dropped. "Pre-op to be what?"

Kankuro shrugged. "A woman."

"Oh, my God. He's a freak!" Temari shuddered. And all this time she thought he was **normal**. "Anyway, since when do you have a lava lamp?"

"No reason," Kankuro's eyes shifted around wildly. "I didn't steal this lava lamp from Naruto-kun 'cause I am the only one that truly loves it, if that's what you're thinking!"

Temari blinked. "Can I leave yet? You're starting to scare me…"

"NO! You can't leave! We haven't even discussed how you're going to distract Gaara yet!" Kankuro whined, petting his beloved lava lamp lovingly.

"Okay. But can you stop being a freak for five minutes so we _can_ discus something?"

"I guess," he said, tossing the lava lamp into a pile of clothes across the room.

"Good. First off, why do you want to have a party anyway?"

Kankuro pointed to an object that was sitting by the door. "Crow said it was a good idea."

"…Okay…So, how am I suppose to 'distract' our adorable baby brother, exactly?" Temari rolled her eyes.

"Easy. We tell him that the grocery store is having a discount on pocky," Kankuro stood up and was about to grab Temari's hands to drag her to the living room, but she moved too quickly for him.

"No. No more with this 'dragging me places' thing," she scolded, hitting Kankuro in the head. Said brother grumbled things about his bitch-big sister, rubbing the back of his head. "Now, one problem with your idea: the grocery store doesn't sell pocky."

"No, I meant the CANDY grocery store. _They_ sell pocky." Kankuro stuck his tongue out at Temari, the rubbing of his head ceased.

Temari cut her eyes at her brother and walked out of the room and back into the kitchen, Kankuro right behind her.

_/Kitchen…again…/_

"This is crazy. Gaara's never going to believe that pocky is on discount," Temari said, sipping the previously forgotten juice.

"Yes he will. Gaara doesn't love anything **except** pocky! It's fool-proof! C'mon, Temari," Kankuro whined, eating some Frosted Flakes, turning the box to face away from him. He didn't appreciate Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom eying his cereal.

"Fine. I'll tell him about the pocky. But if I get yelled at for disrupting him, I'm going to kill you." Grabbing her fan, Temari poofed out of the room to go and 'distract' our lovable Sandman. Leaving Kankuro to stroke a random duck's, which had a profession as a preacher, head and evilly chuckling.

_/Kazekage Office/_

Gaara sat behind his desk, ignoring paperwork, sipping his coffee. His happy coffee time was interrupted, however, by the appearance of his big sister. Setting the steamy mug down, he gave her the infamous 'Gaara Glare.' "What do want Temari?"

"Well, Gaara, Kankuro and I were reading the paper this morning, and-"

"Wait. Kankuro can _read_?" Gaara insulted, a tiny, miniscule smirk present.

"Um…..yeah. I guess he can. Anyway, we were reading the paper when we saw that the candy grocery store was having a discount sale."

Gaara blinked. "And you came here to tell me this…why?"

Temari froze for a second. "Oh, well, because…the discount sale was on pocky. And, we know how much you love-"

Gaara glared harder. She used _**that**_word.

"I-I-I mean, _enjoy_ pocky, so we thought you'd be interested in going." She laughed nervously as Gaara thought her suggestion over.

"Very well. I'll go after I finish working."

"Okay. And, hey, no rush. Take as much time as you like, little brother. Kankuro and I will be fine. Well, enjoy the rest of your day, Gaara!" And with that farewell, Temari poofed back home.

"What a weird sister," he mused, going back to his precious coffee.

_/Sand Sibling House, Living Room/_

Kankuro was playing his Game Boy DS, kicking some pink unicorn's tail, when Temari poofed in. He paused the game and looked up at her. "Well?"

Temari flopped back onto the couch, thankful Gaara hadn't been suspicious. "He said he'll check it out after he's done working. Which, according to my knowledge of Gaara, should be at about seven."

Kankuro jumped up. "SCORE! Party over here!" He continued victory dancing.

"Umm, Kankuro. Who are you suppose to be_ inviting_?" Temari asked, throwing a pillow at him to make him stop.

Kankuro shrugged. "I don't know. I just told a bunch of random people to come and have a party."

"You what? Kankuro, you friggin dumbass!" Temari screamed, throwing a cushion at her dumbass brother.

"AHH! What?" He caught the cushion and threw it back at Temari, missing her and hitting a picture on the wall instead.

"You told random people to come to our house, that's what! What if some of them are our enemies?"

"You'll scare the hell out of them with your scary face when you do your 'beauty treatments'!"

"Why you little son of a- I'm telling Gaara!"

"_**NO!**_" Kankuro clung to Temari's waist, crying desperately. "Please don't do that, Temari. PLEASE! I'll do anything! ANYTHING!"

Temari sweatdropped. "I was **kidding**, Kankuro."

"Oh," he said and got back up, fixing his appearance. "Well, why didn't you just say that?"

"You have some real issues, bro. So, what are you gonna do at this party of yours?"

"Fun stuff. Like shanking!" Kankuro started laughing wildly.

"You're going to make homemade daggers and stab people?" Temari began backing away from her psycho brother.

Kankuro blinked. "Umm…no. Wrong kind of shank."

"Oh," Temari sighed in relief and sat back down on the couch. "You had me worried there."

"You know I don't kill random people. Unlike Gaara…"

"SHH! We were never to speak of them **AGAIN**; don't you remember!" Temari looked around the room, making sure no one had heard him.

"Oh, right! Sorry!" Kankuro dove to hide behind the couch, Temari joining him. They stayed like that for a few hours, leaving occasionally to go to the bathroom, take showers, or go get something to eat.

_/A Few Hours Later, 6:30 pm/_

The doorbell rang.

Kankuro ran to get it, propping Crow up against a counter in the kitchen. Temari had decided to stay in her room for the party because she didn't want to have to take any responsibility for it.

As Kankuro opened the door, tons of people flowed in, giving their greeting to him as they walked past him. In a matter of ten minutes, the entire living room was packed with people.

"Alright. Let's get this party started!" Kankuro announced and the crowd started dancing.

Suddenly, the front door busted open and revealed an annoyed little red-head. "What the hell is going on?"

Kankuro's eyes widened. "Okay. Party's over. Everybody leave."

The crowd left dejectedly, saying good-byes to Kankuro and their Kazekage. After they all left, Gaara shut the door and proceeded to glare at his older brother. "Where's Temari?"

"In her room," he squeaked, pointing down the hall. But, Gaara didn't need to go fetch his sister because she came running into the living room.

"Oh…Gaara! You're home!" She chuckled nervously, cutting a quick glance to Kankuro.

"Kitchen," Gaara commanded, walking into said room, his siblings following him without a word.

All three teens sat down at the table, Gaara on one side alone and Temari and Kankuro across from him. Crow was still propped up against a counter.

"So," Gaara began. "Whose idea was it to have a party?"

"Kankuro's!" Temari accused, pointing at him. The puppeteer's lip quivered in thought of what would happen next.

"Okay. Temari, leave. And take Crow with you."

"Kay." Temari picked up Crow and began to leave the kitchen.

"Temari! Don't leave me!" Kankuro begged from his seat, glancing back at the impassive Gaara. "I'm too young to die!"

Temari looked back at him and scoffed. "I'm not going to die because of you. Good luck." She left the kitchen.

Kankuro was scared to death. He tried to keep eye contact with his little brother, but found he couldn't. So, he broke down. "GAARA!" he sobbed. "I'm so sorry, little bro! But, it wasn't my idea! It was Crow's!"

"How the hell was it **Crow's** idea? He's a friggin puppet!" Gaara couldn't believe this lame excuse.

"I know. But, he's a possessed puppet! He's violent, Gaara. He hits me! He hits me hard! And he's even gone so low as to rape me to get me to do what he wants!" Kankuro continued to sob.

Gaara frowned. "Kankuro. Have you been watching Maury again?"

Kankuro went back to normal. "Just a couple of episodes."

"I see."

"So, I've apologized. Therefore, I'm off the hook. See ya, Gaara," Kankuro stated, beginning to walk out of the kitchen.

"I never said you were off the hook," Gaara, who was still sitting at the table, pointed out.

Kankuro turned around. "What's that suppose to mean? Huh, Gaara?" He saw Gaara's smirk and knew this was bad. "Uhh…Gaara? Gaara. Gaara! NO! Don't! AHHHH!"

_/Two Days Later/_

"So, Gaara. You never told us how you knew about the party," Temari said, sipping some of her tea.

"I didn't. I had my secretary check out the discount sale. When she told me that there wasn't one, I knew something was up. I knew you didn't expect me home until later, I decided to come home early to see what you two were doing. Frankly, Temari, I thought it was **you** that wanted me gone. Not Kankuro," the red-head explained, sipping his coffee.

"Ah. That makes sense," Temari said, looking up at the ceiling. "So, how long are we gonna leave him up there, huh, Gaara?"

Gaara looked up as well. "I'm thinking until the end of the week. Maybe sooner, depending on my mood."

Kankuro was attached to the ceiling, bound and gagged, by Gaara's sand. I guess that this taught Kankuro, and anyone else for that fact, to never try to have a party at Gaara's.

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_**FIN**_

Well, that's it. Yeah, this is just a one-shot. But, it's a special one-shot!

Just a funny story full of a lot of inside jokes. Written and dedicated to one of my best friends.

I have very random ideas, huh?

Well, review. Just cuz this is for my friend doesn't mean that it's not a fic that I published for the readers, too.

Hope you enjoyed it. Especially you, Michelle!

_Au revoir!_ ;)


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